I’m going to apologize now for being an opinionated woman that’s about to speak her mind… NOT! This is an issue I think needs to be addressed… Why women apologize so much.
After saying sorry to my brother for something that didn’t need an apology, he brought to my attention that I’m always apologizing. He told me that there was actually a science behind women often saying sorry; it had to do with low self-esteem. At the time, I just brushed it off thinking, it’s just a polite thing people say. But then I realized just how much I really did apologize, for the dumbest things: sharing my opinion, being vulnerable about something, asking for help for the simplest tasks, once I even apologized to someone who interrupted me! Then I started noticing how other women apologize out of context as well.
Finally, I researched this “science” behind why women apologize so often, and my findings were pretty interesting. According to Live Science, women apologize more than men! Is it because women are more caring than men? Apparently, no. “It’s just that they have a higher threshold for what they think warrants reparation.”
“Men aren’t actively resisting apologizing because they think it will make them appear weak or because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions,” said study researcher Karina Schumann, a doctoral student in social psychology at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada. “It seems to be that when they think they’ve done something wrong, they do apologize just as frequently as when women think they’ve done something wrong. It’s just that they think they’ve done fewer things wrong.” How interesting… Men think they’ve done fewer things wrong. Men and women perceive wrong doing differently.
Ways women apologize out of context (see if you’ve done any of these)
“I’m sorry,” asking someone to do you a favor
“I’m sorry,” as you show emotion
“I’m sorry,” when you don’t look your best
“I’m sorry,” before confronting someone else about their wrongdoing
It’s seems we’re apologizing ever 5 minutes!
Why women apologize (in my personal experience)
We often feel like we get in the way
We feel manly if we tell someone what to do even if we have seniority
We may be lacking confidence
It’s “lady like”
We’re taught that men are the more dominant sex
We feel less than
We think it’s polite
Society brain washing….
The list goes on and on!
When women apologize out of context, are we just saying “sorry,” or is there more behind the scenes? Maybe this is what we’re actually saying:
“I’m sorry Sir, I’m inferior to you”
“I’m sorry I don’t feel very good about myself”
“I’m sorry I’m always making mistakes”
“I’m sorry I’m such a crybaby”
“I’m sorry my opinion doesn’t matter”
“I’m sorry I’m not very attractive”
“I’m sorry, I’m such a bother”
“I’m sorry I’m me”
How we can stop apologizing so much?
Establish what is worth apologizing for and what is not
Ask yourself why you apologize so much
Build up your self esteem
Remember that you are equal
Personally, I think woman need to stop apologizing so much! Now by all means, if you knock someone over, do apologize! Don’t be a jive turkey! But these unnecessary apologies have got to go! I’m still a work in progress. I try my best to catch and correct myself in the middle of an unnecessary apology. It’s a tricky little habit that may take time to fix, but it’s worth it! Women stop apologizing that you exist! Don’t be sorry for being you!
Do you say sorry like every 5 minutes? What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever apologized for? Comment below.
Live a life that’s muzic to your ears!
If you need help improving your self-esteem, check out the Happy Self Improvement Workbook! It helps you improve every part of your life by asking the necessary questions to be the best you can be. With this workbook you’ll learn things about yourself, maybe things you never knew, or maybe ypthings you just needed reminding of, like how awesome you are for example! No more needless apologizing with the Happy Self Improvement Workbook!
Previous posts from this month:
10 Rwasons why Being Single is a Good Thing
Introducing The Happy Self Improvement Workbook
How to Accept Your Flaws – Be Flawsome
Why Be Her When You Can Be You
How to Find Yourself- The Easiest Way
Finding a Positive Self-image – Look in the Mirror
10 Things to Do to Show Yourself Love